In celebration of my 18th birthday I thought I would treat myself by setting up an OkCupid account. Note: I had no intention of actually meeting people through this site, I just wanted to see if I would actually get any likes. So I made my account, liked a few cute boys, and decided to wait a week before checking back. What I did not know is that on this dating website anyone can message you. I was under the impression that you had to match with them first. A week passed and I logged back into my account. I was immediately greeted by 252 likes and 114 messages. As I read through the messages I thought to myself, “Wow, the readers of grrlpunch would love to see these.” Granted most of them were just a “hey cutie” or a “what’s up,” but there were a surprising number of creepy messages that have permanently scarred me. I’ve decided to collect my top ten favorite (PG-13) messages. Enjoy:

1

  1. Grammar is important, grrls. If you forget a comma you might end up calling a girl a dude.

2

2. I didn’t put anything but pictures on my profile, but somehow those few photos spoke to him. I guess a picture really is worth a thousand words (or a poem for that matter).

3

3. I wonder what supplies he’s referring to…

4

4. No pt. 1

5

5. No pt. 2

6

6. No pt. 3

7

7. This is what I get for having pictures of me with my cats in my profile

8

8. No pt. 4

9

9. I thought this one was sweet and flattering until my friend received the same message.

10

10. Yikes

I hope you cringed as much as I did. The moral of this blog post is that boys truly are clueless, and you should never sign up for online dating (unless it’s christian mingle or something; they’re probably nice there).

thanks for reading, ez