Every morning before class in grade school I would sit in our family living room in my school uniform eating a bowl of whatever cereal we had that week and watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch. Who didn’t want to be Sabrina? Her kickass, magical, quirky aunts made me so jealous and even though I hated cats, I definitely wanted a talking pet like Salem.
When we were kids we daydreamed of having powers. We dreamt of controlling the weather, flying, being invisible, etc. But then we grew up and forgot about our make-believe powers, instead focusing our dreams on what we could actually reach for and maybe even attain. But I don’t think I actually ever forgot about my dreams of being magical, and honestly who really cares? I’m an eighteen year old almost-adult and I still read my daily horoscope and I still believe in zodiac and karma. It makes me feel like the universe is special in a way that I can’t really understand: like it has a sixth sense.
The last time we talked, I was going through quite the rough patch. But since then, I guess I’ve been doing a lot of reading in my loneliest hours, and now I can confidently say that every freshman must feel the way I do. Even the most outgoing and personable individual on your campus probably overthinks just as much as you do, and they’re definitely just as scared. So for all of my worrying relatives and Facebook friends who called and texted after my last editor’s note: I’m fine, and I won’t be throwing myself off a bridge anytime soon. And I think I’ve found a little bit of importance in being scared and unsure. It was kind of like in high school when I was backstage, before I was supposed to go out and sing a song or act in a play. I was going to be scared no matter what, even though I was just doing something that I’ve liked to do since, what, eleven? And I still got a terrified feeling in the pit of my stomach. So yes, I’m okay. I just feel like I’m not as satisfied here as I could be elsewhere (*cough* *cough* Mom and Dad). But there’s always a way out if you have as much drive as I do. So by this time next year I might be feeling the same way, but in a new city, or at a new school, even in a new country, with a new job, and new friends, with new interests. Unfortunately, my long-time devotion to many a TLC Show, such as Long Island Medium, hasn’t necessarily given me a sixth sense, but I’ll let you know how things pan out.
Much Love Always,