A List Of Responses to the Omnipresent Question “Where Are You Going to College?”

  1. Norwegian clog dancing school
  2. I’ve already been recruited by NASA
  3. Joining Cirque du Soleil straight out of high school
  4. I’ll be returning to my home planet before then
  5. Hogwarts
  6. The mean streets are all the education I need, yo
  7. You must be confused – I’ve already graduated from Harvard
  8. Trade school for running dogs through agility courses
  9. Straight to a job in a Chapstick factory
  10. I’m retiring after I graduate high school
  11. I hadn’t given it much thought, seeing that the world is going to end next Thursday
  12. Going on a four-year whale-watching cruise
  13. Taking a gap year to find the lost city of Atlantis
  14. I already make six figures a year basket-weaving and see no need for college
  15. It’s a sham
  16. Becoming a pirate
  17. Forgoing college to be cryogenically frozen and live forever
  18. I’m getting married to Danish royalty as soon as I graduate
  19. Your mom
  20. I’d really rather just join the Illuminati
  21. What’s college?
  22. I’m going to build a mobile tiny house and search for Bigfoot
  23. According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way that a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyways. Because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible.
  24. Serena Williams is going to take me on as her protégé

And, of course,

25. I don’t know yet, and I am under no obligation to share this personal information with you, a distant relative whom I rarely see