“You’re acting crazy”
“Dude, that girl is insane”
“Why are all women psycho?”
If you’re a young woman, you’re already all too familiar with the term crazy. Individuals throw it around loosely as an insult, but why?
What is it about the term that is so hurtful and insulting? Perhaps it is because they know the term will stick. Once labeled crazy, you’re doomed to be the “crazy girl” for the rest of eternity.
While it is a hurtful and enduring term, perhaps it says more about the person proclaiming it than it does the person accused. Accusers seem to mysteriously have multiple crazy ex-girlfriends, but they never seem to realize the girls’ insanity until after the relationship has ended.
Interested in this phenomenon, I decided to consult fellow grrls about their experience. Unsurprisingly, many women have been declared certifiably insane by their exes. Below I have included their cautionary tales, laughable accounts and informative forewarnings:
“I once had a guy tell me I was on the crazy vs hot spectrum, but I wasn’t hot enough to make up for my crazy on said spectrum. Well, ok then…”
“During a time when I was struggling with depression and anxiety, I dated a dude that would disarm my insecurities by dismissing his interests in other girls. He would call one particular girl names such as crazy, psycho, or bitch. Ironically, however, once we split he started dating the girl he once called those horrible names. Unsurprisingly, those insults were now directed at me. Thankfully, I have overcome my mental illnesses, and these terms do not affect me. But, it leaves me wondering why men make monsters out of us once the relationship is over. What can we, the “crazy ex-girlfriends,” do about it? In my case, I remember that I am not crazy; I am so much more. And so are you.”
“In one instance, my mom’s ex-boyfriend called her a ‘crazy whore’ as he choked her. Thankfully, she is in the process of standing up to him so he can be jailed for his wrongdoings. I could not be prouder of her bravery and strength.”
“Once in eighth grade, my class decided to play a game of kick ball. At the time, I was a star on the soccer field, so I was pretty confident in my kick ball abilities. I showed up to the game in my baggy t-shirt and basketball shorts ready to play. However, upon my arrival I saw all of the other girls in cute Nike shorts and tank tops. Needless to say, I was mortified.
“I decided not to play out of sheer embarrassment. However, one boy decided it was his business to tell me to ‘just get over it.’ In response, I told him that he wouldn’t understand. After all, he was wearing what a typical boy would wear—I can still hear his laugh. Perhaps I should have been more confident, but regardless of that, I didn’t deserve to be labeled crazy.”
“Over the years, when I’ve sensed trouble in my various relationships, I’ve [texted] the usual, ‘Hey, is something up? I think we need to talk.’ Without fail, each time I’ve been told, “You’re being crazy. There’s nothing wrong. You need to stop being annoying and just shut up.” Interestingly, each time something was wrong, and the relationship ended. Since when is vocalizing relationship turmoil crazy?”
“As the story goes, I was once dating this guy. He was sweet as could be, but I knew him to be a little jealous. However, I never knew to what caliber. One day we were hanging out on our phones, and a picture of Harry Styles came across my Instagram feed. Of course, I’m gonna double tap that. I mean who wouldn’t – am I right ladies? He saw this, and had the audacity to huff. Naturally, like the good girlfriend I was, I inquired about the sound effect. He said, and I quote, ‘You’re never going to get him so I don’t see why you have to like all his pictures. You’re dating me, so quit looking at other guys.’ He went on to accuse me of being crazy because I liked a picture of Harry Styles. Moral of the story, if any of you ladies get patronized for your celebrity crush by your man, he ain’t yo man anymore.”
While all of these stories vary, they all have a central theme in common: a man hurling insults at a women for the sole purpose of tearing her down.
Moreover, these stories emphasize how often this happens. After speaking to many women on the issue, I realized I was not the only one experiencing this bullying.
Personally, I find that entirely unacceptable. I hope after reading this article you begin to dismiss this common accusation and reflect on who it is using it.
Finally, don’t be afraid to speak about this issue openly. I found it incredibly beneficial to talk to other girls, because it opened my eyes to how many girls struggle with being called crazy. Let’s be honest: most guys are going to tear you down and call you crazy out of their own insecurities, and it’s not your responsibility to be bullied or bear the weight of your SO’s inner demons.
Above all, remember you’re not crazy.