Wow, January is finally over and we can move on to the second month of a promising year. Welcome to the month of “angst” at GrrlPunch Magazine. This month’s theme is nearly laughable because many of our articles could be labeled as somewhat angsty due to our young adult tone and article subjects, but I want to get really teen-angsty this month. Let’s connect to our former scene “it’s not a phase mom” selves at the beginning of the year to get it all out of our systems.

I’ve been keeping to myself and almost forcing myself to have more private time than usual for a myriad of reasons (some listed in my recent editor’s note, I think). I thought there would be a possibility of reinvention during this time like the 90s movies where a girl gets knocked down so hard that she finds her “true self”. Think edgy Sandy from Grease, but I’m still just Sandra Dee.

I’ve started listening to more inspiring podcasts, check out Sophia Amoruso’s GirlBoss Radio as well as Leandra Medine’s “Monocycle”, to really get my ass in gear while I drive to pick up my online takeout order… I’ve also been sitting on my dirty apartment patio brainstorming article ideas and podcasts- never really being able to write something. So is trying to reinvent oneself really what it’s cracked up to be? And is it just pissing me off more that I’m adding this pressure?

No and yes. But I don’t really mind trying because as much as it’s been somewhat lonely, it’s also been pretty fun. I’ve come to find out, however, that there truly is a strong correlation between independence and loneliness: the only main difference being the diction and definitions that separate the two.

At the beginning of the new year I was so anxious to be a completely different person in under one week that I allowed, nay forced, my best friend to BLEACH MY HAIR while snowed in one afternoon. I basically ruined my hair so maybe I am a new person, just a Lucy with worse hair. Looking back, I really don’t know why I did that. I hadn’t been yearning for bleach blonde hair and I was content with my looks if one can ever really feel that way as a young woman. But something inside of me told me that enough hadn’t happened yet. So, naturally, I forced something to happen and just ended up with split ends. All jokes aside, I’ve been forcing change. It’s like when you were younger and all you wanted was to be older, but now you’re here and you just want to be thirteen again. *Flashback to the moral of the story in Thirteen Going On Thirty*

Alright I have to end this here because I’m just laughing at possible jokes I could make in the article right now and not really being ~introspective~ on the topics of angst and change. I’ll leave you with some goals and suggestions for February:

  • Read a Joan Didion book (The Year Of Magical Thinking and Play It As It Lays are my favorites)

Throw an all gender inclusive Galentine’s Day Party (maybe call it Palentine’s Day??)

Indulge in that expensive coffee you never let yourself get.

Buy all the festive Valentine’s Day decor in your local Walgreens because there’s nothing wrong with being your own valentine or making a strangers day by passing on a heart shaped box of shitty chocolates.

Text your best friends, they deserve to hear from you.

Dance in the mornings, afternoons, and evenings. Possibly in the nude if you’re down with that.

Go for a drive (if you have that luxury) just to scream your favorite song.

Try to journal everyday.

Wear a bunch of jewelry and stand the f**k out!

Have an amazing February, Grrlpunchers! We have a lot of amazing articles in store for an extra angsty month so stay updated via our social media accounts.

Much Love Always,

Lucy xoxo