I downloaded Tinder on the night of my eighteenth birthday per the instructions of my friend. I was single and ready to mingle, and at the time, it seemed like a good idea.
For the first few months, I had a lot of fun. I found myself meeting new and interesting people that were willing to go on dates with me. It was exciting to meet so many people. Additionally, it was a great confidence boost.
After sometime, I even found myself in a relationship with someone off of Tinder. Reflecting back now, I wonder if that relationship was doomed from the start. After all, meeting on Tinder, of all places, is not the most glamorous way a relationship can commence.
However, that realization of Tinder’s toxicity did not come to me until nearly a year after that relationship ended. As a result, I decided to hop right back into the online dating scene as soon as Tinder relationship dissipated.
That second time around was starkly different from before. For starters, I wasn’t 18 anymore, and for some reason, I felt a lot more cynical. Granted, I was only 19, but the cynicism still hit me like a train.
Perhaps it was because many of the faces looked familiar, or maybe it was my sheer lack of interest. Regardless, the light and fire that once surrounded that flame-themed app burnt out.
Suddenly, swiping through Tinder seemed like a chore, and the people I met did not spark my interest.
Instead, I found myself getting depressed even just seeing the app downloaded. I knew that within that catalogue of men, I would only find other individuals hopefully seeking validation. In addition, I’d see men I desperately didn’t want to see – like those coffeeshop crushes and childhood friends.
Now here I am three years and three relationships later. Occasionally I find myself mindlessly falling into old habits. However, more than anything, I avoid online dating like the plague – now for different reasons.
I’m neither seeking a relationship, nor wanting anything casual. So, why would I put myself through the trouble of creating a dating profile persona? I have a million other apps to worry about, like my school’s online dropbox’s, Instagram’s never-ending timeline and my internship’s article assignment app.
If I’m supposed to go on dates, they’ll have to find me the good old-fashioned way.