I am not the sort of person who likes to sit and do nothing. (I am the sort of person who likes to sit and watch Netflix, but somehow, I don’t think that counts). When people tell me to calm down and just breathe, I refuse. However, mindfulness has been going around, and with it, a whole bunch of mindful activities like coloring and meditating. I’ve tried coloring. I like coloring. I do not like meditating. So of course the only obvious solution is to try meditating (with an app, I’m not a heathen) and write about it, because why not?

Day 1

My first thoughts on the first morning: why did I decide to do this. The app I chose had 5-10 minute guided meditations, but even then, I was dreading opening the app until the minute I had to do it. Here are some more thoughts as I went through the session:

  • Why do all these people have these dreamy voices, I don’t like it
  • This guy sure is talking a lot
  • Is meditation not supposed to be about quiet
  • I could be watching Brooklyn 99 right now
  • Oh now it’s quiet
  • Oh it’s over

Wasn’t a huge fan.

Day 2

This is the day I almost forgot to do it and then I panicked and the meditation was not very peaceful at all.

Day 3

I didn’t actively try to avoid thinking about meditation this day, which is an improvement. I wasn’t looking forward to it, but I was just more resigned to the fact that I had made myself do it. I was sleeping better, but I also had just gotten back from a trip and I had serious jetlag, so that could have been it.

Days 4-6

Through these few days, I got more used to the routine and actually had a time for it, instead of it just being a thing I do right before I do something else more fun. I still did not necessarily enjoy it, but I also didn’t hate it.

Day 7

The last day!

So ultimately, I can say that I did not start this week hating meditation and then grew to love it, because I did not. I still do not love it. I understand that some people do, and that it really does help them to just sit and breathe. People are different. It doesn’t help me that much. Instead of thinking about focusing, it helps me to make a list or actively do something because that’s who I am. I am glad I did this though, because I appreciated how it could help other people, and if this sounds like something you would enjoy, go for it.

I, however, will continue to fill my days with reading and writing and playing video games like the Sims 4 (I’ve created yet another family I love; see my previous article for why this is a problem).