We are all aware of the great Christmas movies that always come out around this time of year. Maybe you’ve watched some of these, and maybe you haven’t, but I have helpfully reviewed a few of them whether you asked for them or not.
The Christmas Switch
This movie follows what seems to be the theme of completely unrealistic magical romance at Christmastime. However, Vanessa Hudgens looks fabulous here; 10/10 for outfits, 0/10 for plot. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty sure stepping down as duchess to marry some chef and giving the spot to some other chef who may or may not be related to you should be more difficult? It just happened so easily in this movie? Never mind about the fact that everyone falls in love and gets married in a few weeks (following another theme of 2018), this royalty baffles me.
A Christmas Prince: The Royal Wedding
Ah, yes. I have been waiting for the sequel to this much loved movie. The first one got a lot of reviews on Buzzfeed, but I haven’t seen that many on the sequel on Buzzfeed, but that could just be me. (After researching, there are plenty of reviews about this movie, they’re just not on Buzzfeed right now). The minute I saw the notes that Amber was writing on her laptop in the trailer, I screamed. I love those notes. Such gems, such as “make sure no jellied meat on menu” and “WEDDING HASHTAG???” She also complains about not being able to blog about the royal family, and I am bamboozled. Of course the royal family doesn’t want every minute of their private life on the internet? I don’t think that’s a hard concept to grasp? Also there was a whole mani-pedi scene and yet Amber doesn’t wear any nail polish at the wedding. I am disgusted.
The Christmas Chronicles
Everyone on the internet seems to agree that this movie is not great, but that the Santa is hot. And funny. He also ends up in jail for a hot sec, so I don’t know, kids. It starts out kind of like a found footage movie; like The Blair Witch Project, but less horrifying. I realize now, after watching this movie, that there are a few exaggerations in this movie that could possibly confuse kids; for example, Santa implies that the Dark Ages happened because he couldn’t deliver all his presents. First of all, no. Second of all, we know that it’s not true, but impressionable kids? Maybe not.
The Holiday Calendar
I did enjoy this movie, even if people do say its love story is “aggressively bland”. The minute the doctor actually asks Abby, our protagonist who hates Christmas and takes photos, out, I knew he wouldn’t end up with her and that the best friend would end up with her. Which I actually love! Fun fact, I love the best-friends-turned-lovers trope. And besides, this doctor doesn’t even believe in Christmas miracles, and I knew from the get-go that Abby would learn to love Christmas (it is a Christmas movie and I don’t think movie companies are trying to spread hatred for Christmas) and that wouldn’t happen with double Christmas hate.
It might seem from these reviews that I actually hate all of these movies. But the truth is that I love cheesy holiday romances, and I love Christmas. So despite the truly horrendous plots and lack of realism, I think you should watch all of these movies and get fat with all the chocolate that you will receive this December.